Though we shared a lot of interests, I felt like they never truly accepted me for who I was. I tried to be likeable, to support them and to do the work that was required to make our projects successful, to help out when I could, and I attended every party and event. It happened when I followed my heart into the places that interested me.Īt first, I joined a group of people that I wanted very much to like me. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with any of those, but it was when I got out of my comfort zone that I finally found what I had been looking for. I looked for safety and comfort in lots of ways: in relationships, in books, in short-lived hobbies, in TV, in long nature hikes, in workshops on “ finding your purpose” or “finding the love of your life,” in meditation, in yoga, in spontaneous road trips. Something where my particular gifts were treasured, and my particular sort of oddness was accepted and cherished and where I felt safe enough to cherish and embrace the odd gifts of those around me. Sure, I had friends and close family, and ended up successful in my career, but there was a kind of connection I was missing. I’m sure a lot of kids had similar thoughts.Īs I grew up, I continued feeling this odd sense of never being at home, safe, or comfortable. Or I was.Īt one point during childhood I even made up a story in my head about how I had been placed with my family as an experiment to see how someone would grow up with people who barely even shared the same language. But I just felt a deep sense that the people around me were aliens. We all had our ups and downs, but we moved on and through it and had good times and bad. It’s not that there was anything wrong with my family or my school or the few friends I had, or my neighborhood-not at all. The ones who understand why you do what you do, or if they don’t understand, they either ask or they just accept, and either way is fine. Some might even say the people who share the same brand of quirky, crazy, or oddness that you do. You know the ones-the people who get you, somehow who are on the same wavelength. “Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” ~Unknownįor probably over thirty years-since I was old enough to know I needed them-I’ve been looking for my people.
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